Downtown Showdown (06/23/12) Fight Results…Sort of…

I had s*** to do today, so I’m not downtown. I wasn’t planning on covering at all, but I got guilt-ed into it because I really shouldn’t be missing out on my source of income…wait…no, that doesn’t make sense.

I’m watching this for three reasons: Corwin Nichols and Amy Krog.

Amy counts as two reasons!

I will give this a shot watching on the live stream. Maybe it will be interesting. I mean, the bar is stocked…

That should be enough, right?

And how bad can the announcers be?

Wait, is that middle announcer the annoying kid from Club Dread?

Oh.My.God. I couldn’t have even imagined…these guys sound more drunk and awkward than I do!

Wes Giddings (0-0) vs John Melina (something…)

Round 1) I’m having trouble even watching the fights as I listen to the “announcers” butcher background info. The speculation of Kelly Johnson’s BJJ successes just hurts. He won Absolute in purple belt at IBJJF you f*** wads! Yes, it was gi, no it wasn’t Arnolds or Grapplers Quest! I don’t roll at the Academy and even I know that!

Anyway, Giddings is landing far stronger strikes and controlling the pace of the fight. Melina goes for a weak judo toss and falls to the ground all but giving up back control. Giddings moves for an armbar but misses and Melina ends up in top closed guard, but does nothing until the final moments, landing a few punches at the bell.

It looks like the doctor is in the ring and checking out Melina…huh, and this fight is over.

Winner: Wes Giddings by Doctor Stoppage between Rounds 1 and 2

Tom Greylak (3-3) vs Melvin Cruz (missed it again)

Round 1) Greylak locks up and Cruz turns him into the fence. Cruz works for the takedown and lands in top half-guard. Greylak establishes his guard again and stays pretty active, but Cruz has a slick pass and moves to the back, digging for the rear naked choke.

The announcers seem to think that this fight is over and are ready to call it. Oh, wait, no it isn’t. The choke isn’t deep enough and the round ends. *sigh*

Round 2) Cruz bullies the action again and works to Greylak’s back. Greylak stays patient and gets back to his feet letting loose some strong punches and kicks that Cruz wants nothing to do with. Cruz pulls the fight to the ground with another single  Greylak is a gamer and moves back to his feet. Greylak loses his mouthpiece and the ref breaks the action to give it back. The round ends soon after.

Note to announcers: the ref isn’t being jumpy, he was moving in to pause the fight when Greylak tied up. He broke it due to inactivity. Jesus.

Round 3) Cruz wants to focus on his wrestling, but Greylak has a slick sprawl, battling Cruz away with hooks. Cruz is not deterred and gets the ankle pick against the cage, once again having single focus on moving to Greylak’s back, but he is too eager and can’t get position. Greylak escapes, but it is short lived as Cruz gets another single. This time he gets a much deeper RNC, but the round is over. It’s going to the judges.

Winner: Melvin Cruz (30-27, 28-29, 29-28) via Split Decision

Brock Peters vs Codie Kahler

Round 1) Peters starts the action but Kahler gets the power double and top cross sides out of it. Peters gets back to his feet and gets the judo hip toss. Kahler gets his guard back and works for the armbar. Peters keeps his weight low to defend, but Kahler gets the armbar sweep and locks in the submission. Boom. Done.

Winner: Codie Kahler via submission (armbar) at 2:08 of the 1st Round

Matthew Thurstin (0-2) vs. Austin Swier (0-0)

Round 1) Thurstin has one of those Lion King stomachs that looks more like Simba’s face and he is all jiggly as he he throws quickly, but “The Buffet Slayer” (his actual nickname) calms down and lands some strong dirty boxing against the cage. Swier bails to the mat and Thurstin surprises with his agility moving well and getting closed guard. Swier is cut and leaking.

Whoa! Thurstin throws up a fast triangle and locks it in. Swier taps and collapses to the ground. He doesn’t look well.

Winner: Mattew Thurstin via submission (triangle choke) at 1:35 of the 1st Round

Blair Gutta (2-1) vs. Randy Lene (5-2)

Round 1) The two paw each other out a bit and Lene wants a guillotine off Gutta’s takedown. Gutta gets cross sides and defends. Lene gets his guard back and tries for a triangle, but Gutta slams out of it. Lenes put his legs up again, but Gutta passes to cross sides for a moment before Lene gets guard back. This round is a whole lot of movement, no real damage.

Round 2) Gutta wants the takedown again, but this time Lene locks the guillotine and pulls like he wants to take the head home with him. Gutta is forced to tap.

Winner: Randy Lene via submission (guillotine choke) at :38 of the 2nd Round

Zach Kellso (2-5) vs. Carl Deaton III

Round 1). Deaton catches a kick immediately and gets the single leg down to cross sides. He is bullying the action of this pro fight with excellent control and movement. Deaton wants the back, but Kellso avoids and eats some body blows. Kellso defends as Deaton get’s a hook. Kellso controls a hand and all Deaton can do is a few hammer fists. Deaton finally rolls Kellso over and sinks in the rear naked choke.

Winner: Carl Deaton III via submission (RNC) at 4:43 of the 1st Round

Blake Bergeson vs. Corwin Nichols

Round 1) I’ve been waiting for this one. It’s a little surprising to see Bergeson landing the strong boxing early on. Nichols moves away and looks a little gun shy, but that only lasts for a moment as he lets loose a flurry. Bergeson moves away and the two tie up. The fight breaks and Bergeson catches a kick, taking Nichols to the ground, but Nichols throws his hips up almost immediately and snags the beautiful armbar! It’s over!

Winner: Corwin Nichols via submission (armbar) at 1:03 of the 1st Round

Okay, I need to slow down on the shots, these fights are coming at me like machine gun fire. Do these guys have somewhere to be? Jesus!

Cully Butterfield vs Shane Dezee (I’ve given up getting their records. Couldn’t care less)

Round 1) Ha! Dezee’s record might be a bit off, but we’ll save that for another time. Butterfield ties up quickly and gets the bear hug takedown, immediately taking mount. Dezee turns over to avoid and gets flattened out. Butterfield continues his striking and Dezee is able to turn over into bottom half-guard. The ref is close to stopping things but doesn’t. Butterfield takes Dezee’s back again and flattens him out again. This time it’s over. The ref waves it off.

Winner: Cully Butterfield via TKO at 2:14 of the 1st Round

Yeah! I just saw Amy! Now I’m happy.

Ben Miller vs Dan Kiser

Round 1) Miller looks really awkward. Remember that Nick Diaz fight against Koji Oishi? Super weird stance and he eats more than a few punches and kicks for the strange homage. Finally, Miller shows some life as he falls for a heel hook, misses and goes for another. Kiser stands up and makes Miller follow.

Miller eats even more strikes before falling back and working his guard. Kiser follows, but postures up and lands punches and elbows almost at will. The ref is an angel of mercy as he waves this one off.

Winner: Dan Kiser via TKO at 3:30 of the 1st Round

Jonny Knutson vs Rico Washington

Round 1) The two feel each other out quite a bit and Washington slips as he kicks, but it right back to his feet. Knutson throws a kick that Washington catches and eats a punch down the pipe as the fight hits tha mat. Knutson closes high guard and is moving for an armbar.

He is persistent with it and Washington loses his posture, falling to his side, but is able to muscle his way back to top closed guard. Washington is able to move to half-guard then slip to mount, but Knutson escapes and finds himself in reverse mount as the round expires.

Round 2) Washington isn’t throwing anything and Knutson accounts for all of the strikes of the opening minute. Finally, Knutson gets a trip and slips to Washington’s back, looking for the RNC. Washington avoids for nearly two minutes before turning into guard. The two stand and trade a few as the round ends.

Yeah Amy! Finally! Between rounds and fights they’ve been showing those f***ing announcers just look around awkwardly or texting instead of showing off Amy’s how-to clinic on hip movement! Who is running that f***ing camera?!

Round 3) Both men trade what amounts to no damage for the first 90 seconds. Washington finally catches an inside leg kick to the d*** and needs a few to find the family jewels that now float around his kidneys (note that my annoyance over not-enough-Amy has left me bitter and punchy).

As the two men square up again Knutson is the aggressor but this fight isn’t going anywhere. Both men are too afraid of the knockout. It’s going to the cards.

Winner: Jonny Knutson via Unanimous Boring

Brandon Gardner vs John Castaneda (co-main event for lightweight championship)

Round 1) Sigh, this is five rounds, isn’t it? And with Castaneda this is going all five. I’m not typing all this. I’ll do Amy sitings and announcer bashing. Then maybe a result.

Hey! It’s Amy! Yeah…no, announcers, you don’t get to talk about her, you haven’t earned it with your horrible AM talk radio banter.

Whoa! The little dude just tried to sing along to Kid Rock and gave a “did you hear me say that line” look that wasn’t even noticed. He looks so sad. Maybe he deserves a hug.

Wait, I take that back. More ref bashing by the two guys who have been quoting wikipedia all event.

You know, normally I save turning the volume off of videos for Nicki Minaj, but I’m willing to expand.

Hold on, I need another beer. Someone tell me if the fight ends. Or if there is mercy and Bruce Hoyer takes over the color commentary.

I’ve switched to whiskey, hoping to pass out soon.

Oh, hey, it’s over. Looks like a decision. I’m guessing Castaneda due to some effort that was slow getting started but dominant in later rounds (his MO)

Winner: John Castaneda via Some Kind of Decision (volume’s off at this point)

Main Event: Nick Kirk vs Chris Befera

Round 1) Befera is sporting some awesome tan lines! I’m guessing landscapping or construction vest. Quite impressive. Kirk looks to be the more comfortable of the two in the striking, but Befera is throwing plenty of shots. It’s a hook that finally puts Befera on the mat and Kirk pounces to pound out the win. Looks like it isn’t so easy. Befera is turning and all Kirk has are hammer fists. Another turn, a warning from the ref and Kirk switches to elbows. It’s all over.

Winner: Nick Kirk via TKO in the 1st Round

Jesus, I need to stick with live events…if I’m ever allowed back in after this one. The little dude might get the guys who wrote Super Troopers to come after me.

Downtown Showdown (June 22nd) Results

Sorry kids, only covering the Friday fights tonight. I’d love to do both, but other matters have taken the foreground.
And I’m sure that Corwin will have more than enough support even without me there.
And maybe just this one night of fights is all that I’m up for these days. As of late, I’ve been doing a little soul searching and taking an introspective look at a life that exists outside of cages and rings, only to look in.
There has been more than a little speculation, arguments and conjecture with both boxing (thanks to the judges in the Pacquiao/Bradley fight) and with MMA (thanks to the guys who can’t get out of bed without Testosterone Replacement Therapy).
As the words swirl it is enough to make even the most cynical of us to take a step back and really think about their lot in life.
I mean, what’s the point to all this?
I’ve been reading a lot…no, seriously, I actually do read.
Margaret Mitchell: “Fighting is like champagne. It goes to the heads of cowards as quickly as of heroes. Any fool can be brave on a battlefield when it’s be brave or else be killed.”
Mahatma Gandhi: “Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love.”
John Lennon: “War is over…if you want it.”
George Orwell: “All the war-propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who are not fighting.”
Hmm…that one actually hits home a bit.
Even George Carlin had his moments, “Fighting for peaces is like screwing for virginity.”
It seems like some of the greatest and most revolutionary thinkers of our time (and any other) had a stance against fighting. Be it war or pugilism, man’s near never-ending quest for dominance through violence has been felt through the ages.
Who am I to perpetuate such a thing? 
Don’t I have anything better to do with my life?
You know what? No, I f***ing don’t.
I love this G** damned sport. I love the idea that two men will walk into the cage with bad intentions and leave it there (usually).
And I really love that I get to drink while I do it.
This is a f***ing game, deal with it. If you’re afraid of blood, don’t sit next to me, because I seem to get douched with it on a regular basis. 
On that savory note, looks like the fights are about to start…

I’ll play this one pretty simple: here’s the nuts and bolts (with possible commentary if I get too bored or annoyed)
Cory Scanlon (0-2) vs. Jordan Barrett (2-3)
Round 1) It must be jelly because jam don’t shake like that as Barrett rushes forward with a prodding leg kick. It’s a battle for takedowns as Scanlon works his wrestling and Barrett attempts a judo toss. Scanlon gets the better of the battle and takes Barrett down against the cage.
Scanlon works for Barrett’s back and goes for a rear naked choke with no hooks. Barrett flops out of it and Scanlon flattens him out. It only takes moments of pounding for the ref to call this one.
Winner: Cory Scanlon by TKO at 1:40 of the 1st Round
Branden Bell (5-3) vs Stuart Cambell (0-0)
Round 1) Cambell enters the ring with the swagger of a conquering general, but it is Bell who starts things off, chasing Cambell around the ring with off-balance jabs and crosses. Cambell stays calm and lands a kick to the stomach that Bell falls into. Cambell tries for the RNC, but Bell is able to turn into it, avoid the triangle and get cross sides. Cambell fights for guard and throws up a deeper-but-not-deep-enough triangle that Bell is able to fight out of as the round ends.
Round 2) Cambell looks gassed as his hands are on his knees when the ref calls for a start. He eats a big cross that sends him against the fence, but Bell isn’t planting his feet for the stronger punches. Cambell turns and actually tries to run away and eats three more punches for the effort. Cambell  is exhausted and Bell lands the magic number of unanswered strikes for the fight to get called.
Winner: Branden Bell at 1:50 of the 2nd Round
Samuel Nelson (0-0) vs. Adam Martin (0-0)
Round 1) Martin goes for a couple of teep kicks and Nelson tries to tie up. Martin digs for the arm-in guillotine and pulls Nelson off his feet. Twice. “He’s out!” is all I can yell as the arms drop. The ref breaks the two and Nelson crumples to the ground unconscious.
Winner: Adam Martin at :20 of the 1st Round (Submission of The Night)
Tom Trutnau (0-0) vs. Tom Krenzel (2-3)
Round 1) Krenzel forces the action and goes immediately for the takedown, but Trutnau keeps his composure and turns Krenzel into the cage. Krenzel reverses momentarily but Trutnau again controls the action, forcing Krenzel to pull the action to the ground and try to work butterfly guard. 
Trutnau keeps his base and does his best Hulk-Smash impression, but Krenzel defends and tries for a triangle. Against, Trutnau postures and avoids. Krenzel turns to turtle to avoid more punishment and rides out the round there.
Round 2) Again Krenzel ties up and against Trutnau gets the better of it, landing in top open guard. The two exchange some words and smiles before Trutnau moves to mount and again works to punch out the finish. Krenzel tries to roll over, but the ref has seen enough. This fight is over.
Winner: Tom Trutnau via TKO at 1:10 of the 2nd Round
Adam Gilligan (4-0) vs. Marcel Anderson (4-2)
Nope, no fight here. Marcel didn’t show. He weighed in, but didn’t show. What the f—…huh? 15 minute break? Well PBR me ASAP mother f***er!
You know what, I use the verb “pounding” a lot, don’t I? Maybe that’s some kind of Freudian-thing. Perhaps I should spend more time delving into my issues than quoting authors you’ve never heard of.
Nah, no way I have enough time for that.
Pro Fights
Starr Roberts (3-6) vs Dan Moret (1-0)
Round 1) Both men have lightning in their hands and enough sense to move their heads. Moret ties up and lands knees like he has stock in them. He is loading up shotgun blasts against the cage. One catches Roberts flush and he falls to the mat. Moret leaves no doubt and punches out the finish.
Winner: Dan Moret via TKO at 1:24 of the 1st Round (Knockout Of The Night)       
Semi-Drunk note: Don’t let Roberts’ record fool you, he knew how to move, but Moret was a pure bully (in the best way) and dominated this fight. Watch out for this guy.
Blake Breitsprecher (1-2) vs. Mahmoud Aburia (1-0)
Round 1) You know what, I don’t want to have to try and spell Breitsprecher or Aburia over and over again, so I’m going to cut to the chase. Breitsprecher hit the ground, Aburia hit him a lot. They stood up, the guy with the B name showed how poor his cardio was and Aburia put him out.
Winner: Mahmoud Aburia via TKO at 3:56 of the 1st Round
Semi-Drunker note: Aburia is saying something about wanting to fight Rheaume, who hasn’t fought yet tonight. Weird. I don’t care enough to pay attention. 

Jake Erickson (0-0) vs Justin Rheaume (0-0)
Round 1) Erickson immediately catches a kick and drives for the takedown. Rheaume (hence forth called “R” because his name makes no sense to my drunk fingers) moves to closed guard and Erickson works solid hooks to the body. R misses the armbar and Erickson seems content to sit in guard. R already has a fat mouse under his left eye and R is taking a lot of damage as Erickson bullies the fight (in the worst way).
R gets a keylock and wants the kimura. Erickson looks calm but has to give up mount to avoid the sub. He rolls over and R fights for the RNC. Time is not R’s friend as the round ends and Erickson survives.
Round 2) Erickson only wants the takedown and R nearly gets the guillotine off it, intentionally falling to guard, but it slips away. Again he goes for the kimura, again Erickson gives up mount and again he rolls to his stomach to avoid. R gets both hooks and starts to deliver punishment.
Illegal punishment at that, and the ref stands the fighters after a blow to the back of the head. Erickson is gassed and goes for a lazy shoot and R ends up in mount again. Oh my f***ing god…yes there is picture evidence of how I reacted to what just happened. A vicious elbow snaps against Erickson’s orbital bone. The ref heard it too. This fight is over.
Winner: Justin Rheaume via TKO at 4:57 of the 2nd Round
Drunk Note: Oh Jesus, Aburia just got in the ring to jaw jack with Rheaume, I’m already bored with this weak-ass WWE attempt at showmanship. I need to p***.
Co Main Event
Matthew Larson (1-0) vs. Brett Murphy (5-0)
Round 1) Murphy lands a lot of punches really quickly and Larson switches to a takedown attempt, driving both men to the fence. Murphy great takedown defense and keeps his base. Murphy lands punches at will every time the windows open. Larson looks wobbled and shoots from 10 feet away. Murphy times the sprawl perfectly and continues his abuse.
Murphy moves away from the cage, but Larson presses the action. Now Murphy has Larson against the cage, but Larson gets the reversal and spends a lot of energy keeping the fight where it is. The round ends with Murphy in clear control.
Round 2) Larson again works the action to the cage and is using a lot of energy doing so. Oh! Larson gets rocked with a crisp combination, but fights through it and works back to the cage. The crowd is going nuts for both men in a constant, nonsensical blur of chants.
The two separate and Murphy keeps landing punches. Larson stumbles into the cage! Oh come on! More blood on me! Not nearly as bad as the Locken fight last event, but what’s the deal? Arms and forehead this time.
Murphy pounces and it is clear that he isn’t letting this one go. The ref ends the fight, out of mercy.
Winner: Brett Murphy via TKO at 3:52 of the 2nd Round

So Drunk I See Things Clearly note: Murphy looked great tonight, far better than his last performance where he looked one-dimensional; only throwing two punch combinations. He was tough against the shot and took advantage of every position. Very impressive.

Ah, another break. Time for some boilermakers…oh crap, there’s Corwin Nichols, crap, I really wish I could catch his fight tomorrow. Hmm…maybe if I get drunk enough I can have the detox doctors write me an excuse for missing the fights.
Eh, worth a shot.
Main Event
Keith Smetana (13-7) vs. Paul Bradley (18-4)
Round 1) Bradley eats a solid punch and goes for the single leg like it was bought and paid for. Smetana works to closed guard. Bradley baseball slides through to cross-sides and works for a north/south choke, but again Smetana defends. Bradley gets back to cross-sides then half guard, going for an arm triangle, but Smetana avoids and rides out the round in closed guard.
Round 2) Smetana is all smiles as he lets punches and kicks go, just to get a kick caught and taken down. Bradley is in top closed guard and Bradley moves to half, then cross-sides…again. Again he wants the north/south choke, but Smetana blocks the hip. Bradley transitions to mount and starts the punishment. Smetana rolls over, but this fight is done.
Winner: Paul Bradley via TKO at 2:37 of the 2nd Round 
All done. After party is at the Pour House, but with the Pride event in town tonight, I don’t even want to know what happens between guys who shave their entire bodies and have great physiques…and gay guys! Ba-Zing!

Upcoming Grappling Events for MN, WI and Beyond for 06/2012

Here’s what I got, let me know what I’m missing.

Also, it takes a really long time to actually type out the details. Just click the links and save me the effort.

Come to the Sub Only Event on the 30th. Tons of swag and other prizes, should be a great time!

06/30/12: MTT Submission Only Grappling Tournament  HERE

08/18/2012: NAGA Illinois HERE

08/18/2012: IBJJF Chicago Open  HERE

11/02/2012: NAGA Midwest Championships