New Bohemia Sausage Eating Contest/UFC Viewing Party- 05/18/13

new-bohemia-signage

UFC. Brats. Beer.

Got the important information out before I forgot. Please excuse me, I got home from New Bohemia bar in Minneapolis (233 E Hennepin Ave) after drinking tap beer in a wine glass (not sure if I hallucinated that part) and a bloody mary made with Surly Furious (f*** yeah) and I’m a little buzzed up. If I’m being honest, I could kind of use a bro hug, too. But I digress.

For those of you that follow me religiously and base your life choices off of my diatribes: shame on you. That’s poor decision making.
However, that also means that you know my loves in life are BJJ, MMA, beer, whiskey and meat.

No, not that kind of meat.

…sometimes that kind of meat.

Penis.

What the f*** was I talking about?

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I was introduced to a lowly white belt. Now, normally I don’t associate with the lower classes, friendly as he may seem to be, so I just nodded along and pretended to listen until I found out he was a bar manager at New Bohemia. The bar is found equidistant between Nyes (the Polynesian bar that looks like a 1960s Vegas Showgirl vomited up the decor) and Pizza Nea (great pizza that I kind of feel like a douche for eating).

There is also Syrdyk’s booze shop there. I hear they sell cheese too, but who gives a f*** about that?

I was informed that New Bohemia will be hosting a Sausage Eating Contest (giggity) this Saturday, May 18th, at approximately 7pm.

Sounded like a cool idea. Evidently they are rolling like Nathan’s Hot Dog eating contest, except with brats and no dunking in water allowed (thank God).

What makes it better is the cast of competitors. Names you may recognize:

Ron “Doc” Weathers

John “Sexi Mexi” Castenada

Robert “i don’t know his nickname” Brant

D.J. St. Joel

an as yet unnamed ring card girl

All overseen by ring girl Liesl.

I know you don’t know this reading the article, but I totally just zoned out for about three minutes.

Personally my money is on Castenada, mainly because of this video I saw once where…never mind.

The plan: come watch the contest, drink lots of beer (there are 8 Sam Addams crafts on sale for $3 each all night long), watch the UFC on FX event at 8pm and get shot down by Liesl. Hard.

No that isn’t regret in my voice. F*** you.

Oh, and free giveaways.

Through the night there will be draws for free tickets to the May 25th and June 29th SEG shows. Just show up, put your name in the drawing and get free s***. My kind of party.

Does anyone else think that baseball announcers should stop saying things like “well stroked” and “good cut”? Sorry, I’m listening to the Twins game as I write this. Just filthy.

Anyway, come on down to New Bohemia (233 E Hennepin Ave, Minneapolis, MN. 55414), see some dudes gobble some sausage, watch fights, drink beers and partake in general merriment and debauchery. I’ll be there, I make people feel better about themselves. Especially around beer four when I start yelling out “who wants my autograph!”

Good times will be had by all.